


Guytalk

by bob2ff



Series: Seirin Shenanigans [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-16 16:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1354546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bob2ff/pseuds/bob2ff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seirin team attempts ‘guytalk’.</p><p>Written for BPS Challenge 63 (Kisses).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guytalk

Kagami blames Alex entirely for his current predicament. After all, the entire Seirin team watching her plant the kiss on him was the reason he was currently being bombarded by said team, as the supposed ‘kissing expert.’

 “So…Kagami!” Hyuuga smiled vindictively, rapping Kagami on the head. “You’re the only one who has had experience kissing a girl, right?”

Kagami spluttered and turned bright red. “What are you talking about?!”

“Come on Kagami, we all saw Alex kissing you!” Koganei said. Mitobe nodded frantically in agreement.

“That doesn’t count!”Kagami snapped. “Er, senpai!” he added hurriedly, as he saw Hyuuga advance menacingly at his insubordination.

“It counts, Kagami!” Kiyoshi said, seriously. “A kiss from any female should be treasured!”

Hyuuga snapped, “Whether it counts or not doesn’t matter right now! All we want to know is, how do you kiss a girl  _well_?”

Izuki hurried to add, “Yes, Kagami, please  _unlock_  the tale of your  _lip-lock_!” amidst the automatic shutdown from Hyuuga’s “Shut up Izumi.”

Kagami was red now and feeling utterly victimized. “Er, shouldn’t we be waiting for coach to debrief us from practice?” he tried to deflect.

“Riko has student council meeting today. I’ll be debriefing you guys today,” Hyuuga said. Everyone pretended not to hear his undertoned “Thank god, or else we would be killed for having this discussion.”

Kiyoshi, however, had not gotten the memo. “What? Riko should be here! I’m sure she can give lots of input as to how to kiss a girl properly!”

Hyuuga and Koganei immediately tackled him for his sheer idiocy.

“Kuroko, back me up here!” Kagami urgently whispered to Kuroko, amidst the yells of “Idiot!” from Hyuuga, strangled cries of “Do you want to die!” from Koganei.

Kuroko looked at Kagami and said reassuringly, “Understood, Kagami-kun.”

Before Kagami could breathe a sigh of relief, however, Kuroko said, loud enough to be heard over the chaos, “Kagami-kun can’t help us. He has barely any experience talking properly to a girl, let alone kissing one. He is, in short, useless.”

Kagami felt that he couldn’t turn any redder. He reached out a hand to pummel Kuroko for that remark, when Kiyoshi exclaimed, amid Hyuuga and Koganei’s strangle-hold, “What? That is something we must remedy!”

Hyuuga yelled, “Shut up, idiot! We know he can’t talk to girls properly. All we want to know is how to kiss!”

Not one to stand by while his dignity was being pummeled to the ground by his team’s insensitive remarks, Kagami spluttered, “I do know how to talk to girls! I talk to Coach, and I talk to Alex!”

They ignored his remarks and talked over him. “Do you ever practice before kissing a girl?”

Kuroko helpfully added his input, “Kise-kun used to boast that he could make a girl swoon from his kiss.”

Izuki brightened up. “Oh, good one Kuroko! We’re taking  _kissing_  tips from  _Kise_  Ryouta-kun?”

Hyuuga pummeled him. “Not the point! We’re not taking tips from Kaijou, they’re the enemy! And practicing to kiss sounds stupid!”

“Why not? We practice basketball,” Koganei wondered aloud.

Kagami groaned. “Why do we care about this? All I want to do is play basketball.”

Hyuuga whacked his head. “That’s because you’re a basketball idiot! This is important too! And of course you’ll take it for granted, you’ve had experience!”

“Experience doing what?” a sweet voice came in.

“Experience kissing, of cou- Riko!” Hyuuga trailed off with a strangled gasp. “Er, how long have you been there?”

“Long enough,” Riko said, still smiling creepily.

Needless to say, Seirin had a tough practice the next day. They never attempted to ask Kagami for advice on girls again.  


End file.
